I think I may of found a new baby for us. I spoke with the lady who is getting rid of her. Only thing is she is not a little baby she is more like a medium baby. She is part lab and part pit. Around kids all the time. Super friendly!! First thing I will do is get her fixed. If not done already. I of course will need to get bigger feeding dishes. She is 15 months old. Every baby puppy in town goes like hotcakes. This lil lady needs a home and well we are wanting a furbaby incredibly bad.

What do you all think?

Is she to old to get attached to another family?

The owner says she is about 40lbs and doesn't think she will get any bigger. It is cutting it close to our 45-50lb weight limit. Of course she is considered a service/companion animal so they can't really put restrictions on us but I try to somewhat follow the rules if at all possible.

Is this a good idea? The owner will have to take her to a pound if she can't find a good home for her. We will get to meet her soon.

Come on you doggy lovers HELP i need advice I want to make a GOOD choice.

PS did I update you all regarding the Buddy situation, recently I mean?

Becuz I am overly tired and overly lazy you get bullets! Don't like bullets? Tough lol.

• Welcome back to a few of my long lost Xanga pals who recently returned from lurking you know who you are!
• Nina doin great in school! Pleases us greatly!
• No puppy yet.. still looking. It amazes me that people put things in the paper and then leave them there for sometimes weeks after. What amazes me even more is that they NEVER answer their phones. I called on one that was put in that morning *i check online* and they never answered or called me back but without 3 hours their voice mail said the puppies were gone. This makes me Sad.
• Three big things to celebrate in our home next month.
• Nina will be 11 on the 24th. ELEVEN its insane really!
• No Huge party this year. Thinking more along the lines of a sleepover with her and 2 friends. We will also be getting KFC that night. It's her choice and she has asked early lol.
• Hubby and I have been married for 7 years on Halloween. It hasn't always been a walk in the park but it's a walk I would take over and over again if given the chance. We sometimes don't wanna take the same path but I think that's what keeps our marriage so strong. I love that crazy man even when he's a butt.
• Then of course there's Halloween.
• No changes or new information regarding Nina's surgery stuff. Next appointment in November. Looks like we will be spending about a week in Seattle that week since she has an appointment everyday for 3 days in a row. They want to see her again in Craniofacial Clinic so I am REALLY hoping to coordinate it with the other two appointments. I would rather not make 3 trips to seattle in a matter of a couple weeks.
• They probably won't be thrilled with my news. But quite frankly they don't get a choice.
• I am returning to college. My start date is January 4th. I will be going for my LPN degree. I will attend full time. I know you can't tell but I really am as excited as fuck! Will totally be doing my pre-reqs this year. I haven't decided yet if I am going to go during the summer. I think it depends on what the doctors have planned. They don't intend to do anything with her before 6 to 9 months so if they are not doing anything then I will be definately going through the summer. If they do make plans then obviously it would be wise for me to take the summer off.  If i go through the summer though I could graduate by 2011. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!
• Hubby also returning to college but online. He is also going to work part time. That way one of us are always available for Nina at school.
• No help from nurses for Nina. Absolutely won't help us out. But she is doing fine.

Well there ya go. Update in a nutshell. Talk soonish. Peace....

On a side note: If you are the praying type please keep my dear xanga pal warweasel  in your thoughts. His furbabies haven't been well and his dear friend's fur babies are very ill. He would like some positive energy their way. Drop by and read more if you want.

I am so tired im falling asleep at my desk so that means its nap time.

Nina started school FINALLY at 10am~so far so good.

Homework...

Comes in many stages in our house. What baffles me is that she has not even started school yet not fault of our own. The school system itself sucks. Her teacher thus far not so much. At least he is getting her everything she has missed so far and I plan for it to be done by morning so that I can return it to get more. We have a meeting tomorrow so we may not need it. She may be able to finally go to school. I sure hope so because this has been (no joke) the longest summer known to man! From May 18th until now she has been out of school~TAKE HER PLEASE SCHOOL! She needs to be in school with her friends and people she will actually listen to. I got the homework on friday. I lietrally yesterday had to remove everything she even kinda likes. She just won't comply with anything. She refuses to do exercises or will fake her way through them. I have explained many times how important it is that she do them. They can't be skipped and when we get off track (like when we go shopping or something) we must double up the next time. She fights against everything. Which is par for the course but scares the hell outta me for her to be at school without a nurse. But on most other accounts I do not think she actually needs one. Mostly to monitor her during her meals and exercises. The rest of the day is fine. But knowing what a little bullshitter she is she will fake her way through it. They won't force her to do anything (all those nifty new laws in schools these days) nor do they really care about the consciences *or so it seems*  so therefore they are not the people being accused of not doing them sitting in the doctors office. Truth be told I am never quite content with how anyone cares for her but me, which is probably a downfall. But at least I know things are being done right. I get very annoyed with hubby sometimes but its nothing to do with him. It's a me thing.

But anyway back to the homework thingy.. got a lil off track lol.

Homework has serveral stages in our home.

1. Mom I can't do it. or It's hard the teacher didn't tell us how. (assure her that teachers don't just hand out work and say figure it out yourself)

Make child read directions. #1 repeats. (read directions for the child)

2. I'm thirstie, hungry, sleepy,cold or hot.

this is usually before she even starts. (tell child all can be remedied as soon as homework is done.)

3. I need a pencil, pen, crayon, marker or colored pencil. (give child needed tool)

4. Nina what problem, question, sentence, etc on. Child replies 2 (1hr later on 3 and so on)

After 4 hours I just want it done. Correcting it or telling her which are wrong *she borrows instead of carrying for example*

So this year will be  different. If she wants to spend her entire afternoon doing her homework then that will be her choice.  I will just have to trust that she is doing her exercises. I have added 4 on each day so that I know she is at least getting them all done. This year we have a schedule. WHich will be strictly followed. She will carry a check off list to school each day. Similiar to last year however this year I would like someone to actually sign off on things. Scary in ways since last year we just wanted them to sign off on the emergency kit (didn't even need to look in it) and they were to busy to do it but when i would take it to her if she forgot it they would claim they didn't realize she was even there that day.

Maybe im just a picky mom. I plan to contact a lawyer if they don't have at the least a plan to allow her to immediately start school its her right.

But anyway more on that when we finally get it all squared away.

I think it is worth mentioning that this time last year hubby and I had been smoke free for 2 whole days. That is right folks we have 1 YEAR smoke free. Hubby even made me a nice candlelit dinner for two. Nina even went to bed extra early. It was really nice. Not to mention really yummy.

I think I am going to look into going back to college. I want to apply for a pell grant. A friend has said it would be the route to go. What's the worse they can say? So will keep you updated on that as well.

I meant this to be longer but brat child is fighting homework again. It has taken her more then 8 hours (with breaks after each assignment and for exercises) just to write 2 paragraphs on something she did over the summer and 12 math problems.

Was gonna make it a private one but some ppl who shall remain wonderful friends have yet to join me here in Xanga land lol. Therefore they are unable to read protected posts.

Went to the doc today. Walked out with even more meds. Uped my diabetic pill from 1/2 to one full pill in the mornings and the insulin seems to doing its job.

Nina still has not gotten to join her friends in school. I don't blame the school. I have been fighting the nursing issue for months. They are now saying they think the school board should pay for it. Which means that she can't start. We meet with the school thursday. I am hoping that her doctor can help get the ball rolling in that department. I wanted her to do homeschool for a while then realize as horrible as it may sound (and really don't care how it sounds to be honest) that it is the ONLY time hubby and I get to ourselves. She has been out of school since early may last year. Thats a long mostly stressful time to be without a single day off.

As if life didn't suck enough recently my wallet and one of nina's meds sprouted legs and walked away. Of course that's what happens when people are to damn nice by ya know feeding them storing their crap basically helping them out when we could barely help ourselves. Anyway I basically said no more. Its a damn shame when you can't be neighborly and helpful without getting ripped off. They didn't get much. I had just a few dollars hidden in it, all forms of ID that say I am me, my 2 cc cards, both my and the ninameister's SS cards, foodstamp card, medical coupons. So far i have replaced my driver's license/ID replaced my empty CC cards. Which i thought was funny they were taken becuz the person I suspect knew I had not a dime on them. I didn't have a ton of cash but had planned to get some stuff for brat child. I was able to hit the foodbank (cuz I am so not shy about that lol). I also got her meds again but had to pay for them this time. Another tight month in the DeBois house hold lol. Like most others. We will be fine and eventually will replace everything. Tomorrow I will go in  with something to identify the brat child as mine as if we don't look enough a like lol. I also replaced my wallet as I feel nakedish without one.

My liver isn't playing nice. I need an ultrasound for that. My cholesterol is high and I have a med for that. My feet are still footballish. I also have a med for that. Hell i have a meds for some of my meds. I am still constantly tired but they checked my heart size to be sure it was not CHF (by the way never say something like that to someone in the medical feild cuz instant panic set in. Did i mention my kid was with me.mom panicked then she did. It wasn't a pretty sight. But they said at first glace it looked ok but they had to send it out for an actual tech to say it was. hell if i no whether thats good or not.

I have several of things turn to crap all of a sudden. Just when Nina finally slowed down a bit. Silly me actually thought I could see about getting my jaw fixed a bit more during this lull.

I also put on more then 20lbs in less then a week. So lots of red flags have been going off with me lately and hopefully with some persistance we will get a grasp on it.

Still alive and kicking but have been extremely tired. Hubby is outta town so enjoying some one on one time with Nina.

There is more to blog but will have to wait till morning. My feet are bigger then footballs. They hurt to walk on which doesn't make it any easier. Can't get in to my doctor until the second so we will see. Will try to keep them elevated. Have been sleeping with them elevated and all that does is make my knees not want to work. My new pain med makes me loopy. My blood sugars are between 175 (fasting) and 275 after meals. Not perfect but not 338.  I am now on the insulin shot at night and they plan to up my diabetic pill that i take in the mornings.

But anyway I'll add more tomorrow when its just Nina and I here. Which will make more sense in my next protected post.

It's been a while and there so much that you can't just share on facebook.

So for your reading pleasure let's do this in Bullet format lol.

• School starts here on the 31st of August. Not a second to soon. Of course there is a glitch. There is always a glitch in this house. No news about the nurses. I really do not feel she is mature enough to attend school without them considering that she has refused to change her trach in over 6 months, she won't even help me change it, just not interested. She is capable of changing it out. I have watched her do so. She has to be reminded then told sometimes several times in order to just do her feedings and exercises. Not to mention her normal defiance. But those things are needed for her medical well being and safety. So if she doesn't get nurses I am not sure what we will do next. She needs to go to school. She needs to be safe. She is not going to do any of these things when we are not right there. On the bright side the last check up went pretty well. He is still concerned that it (her jaw) is trying to fuse back together but said she seemed to have made at least a small amount *he stressed small* of progress. But progress is progress and any progress is a step in the right direction. Nina will be in 5th grade this year!
• My car is now running again! Thankyou very much to my big sister. She once again saved my bacon and loaned me the money for repairs. Now hubby and I once we are well enough can go look for some type of job. We just need a few hundred more per month to stay afloat. If we had an extra 400-500 per month coming in we could totally even include a family night out once a month and possibly a date night!
• Speaking of being well enough, I had to take hubby to the ER about a week or so ago. He was having severe double me over "i wanna die" pains every single time he ate or drank. When he could no longer tolerate water I informed my beloved hubby that I didn't care if I had to absolutely drag him kicking and screaming insurance or no insurance he was going to the ER. Thank goodness he finally stopped arguing with me over it ( I had been asking him for 3 or 4 days to go in but he always said we couldn't afford it) and in he went. We got there at about 7:15pm, there were literally about 15ppl in front of us. He got checked and and about 3 hours later we were informed that he has Pancreatitis. I literally felt the blood drain from my body. You see that was what finally did my brother in law in. I knew it was something. The doctors of course tried to tell him it was nothing until I insisted they take a closer look. With all hubbys digestive problems and pains regardless of what he consumed it could not just be nothing. So he was given some meds and put on a new diet that convieniently clashes with his other diets somewhat. One diet they want him on for the GERD says to eat whole grains and the diet for his Pancreatitis says avoid them for example. He is doing better. He was on a clear liquid diet for several days and still has iffy moments but apparently once you have it you have it. Some people never get over it while others have one flair up and thats it. Of course he said it was funny in a way because when that flaired up he didn't have heartburn (of course he was barely eating) at all and as soon as that started to decrease a bit heartburn came back with a vengence.
• Nina's surgeon finally referred me to a surgeon to discover if I can get things finished or worked on. I would really love to have some of my dental issues finalized. It would be nice to eat what I should be. So anyway I had planned on calling her friday but I got a call from my doctor regarding my recent bloodwork she had me do when I was there tuesday. She called me wednesday but of course it was Seattle week so  I was gone so she told me to come in as soon as possible. Which just so happened to be today.  The news was not good. In fact she had nothing positive to say except I am still here so not to late to fight these problems. These problems are that my suspected Diabetis is no longer a suspect it is the real deal in a real bad way. I have became a human pin cushion. I am now on a pill in the mornings and insulin at bedtime. My liver appears to have decided to take a vacation because it is not working as it should, I also have been told absolutely under no circumstances am I allowed tylenol. My cholesterol is outta wack and my blood pressure is off a bit. I walked out with another 5 meds per day that I can NOT miss. I also have to work harder at my diet somehow. I am worried. I need to change lots of things. I have decided to take it one day at a time. I need to do my regular shopping but I will have to make do with what I have for now. Time to stop pretending everything is ok. I had this STUPID notion that since I had been through so much medically as a kid that somehow I would be spared the horros as an adult. No clue how I figured that would happen though. Well I guess it just supports my religous views.  Or should I view this as one of those precious gifts?? Yeah whatever that's what I thought. Whatever happened to not getting something you couldn't handle? Yep didn't think so either.

Well there ya go as my life sucks by samantha debois.

Hello

Well the appointment didn't go badly. It is still a wait and see as for whether or not the surgery was a complete failure.  We go back to Seattle again on the 19th/20th for tell tell xrays. He already said it looks as though it is trying to fuse again. We still have movement just not very much. Still has not made her life better in any way and that makes me sad. On the bright side when we go back on the 20th we will only have to go up every two months! So that is looking good for the school year.

I can't wait for school to start!!!!!!!!

Babysitting my friend's 6week old infant. He is sooo adorable and always smiling. I am enjoyin him but fear I won't want to let him go home. Of course I will. Its just that ticking sound is ever so loudly and I am hoping for an accident this month lol...

My body seems cooperative to the idea. I have had 2 COUNT THEM TWO cycles in a row on my own. So if its meant to be it will be.

Nina is still nina. Attitude and all. We are working on it.

Still working on getting nurses. We hope they start before school does. The state is dragging their feet. They know she qualifies but they just need to write it down on paper. I know that writing is an almost lost art however it is only a yes or no we are waiting for. We have the company in which we will use standing by but they can't send them out until they get the OK from insurance. I am really wanting her to not be missing school for such a dumb reason. She has missed so much that I really want her to be able to have a decent year for a change.

We are still doing the summer home school thing. So far so good.

Well the state JUST called and have said they got to her file. So maybe JUST MAYBE they will know in a week or so. Talk about cuttin it to the wire.

Anyway that's about it. Need to go tend the baby and think about dinner.

Sam & Fam

PS Casey it was so much fun hanging out with you this last appointment. We should try to do something at BurgerMaster or something?? Talk soon! Huggzzzzzzz to the kids!

413-497-0025

If you have not dialed then do so THIS is the correct number. Lemme know what ya think.

Not much to really report. Goin back to Seattle. Didn't I just get home? Won't know anything until after that appointment. I am hoping that he will have an Idea as to the next step. I hate to waste time if something doesn't have to wait. It's been a rough year so far I have it in me to go the rest of the year. Nina does too. I have talked with her to see how she is feeling with everything that she has been through and she is ok. She said she just wants to try and work around her vacations at school this year. Maybe pull out a week before xmas break and come back a week late. That would give her 2 weeks longer to recover if needed. She is already goin to miss probably every thursday if not every other. Still lots of school missing. That doesn't even take into account her getting actually sick! I would like to avoid the school year all together but I know thats a pipe dream.

Well what ya waiting for call that number and tell me what ya think! Back by thursday for sure!